My whole life I have had a cousin on the low end of the autism spectrum. Growing up, to put it frankly, he scared me. Eight-year-old me didn't understand why this six and a half foot tall, 15 year old boy spoke only in grunts, why he ran laps around the living room, or why he was always trying to put my hands over his ears. Then I got a little bit older, and I was no longer scared of him, but he made me uncomfortable. How was I supposed to communicate with a man who didn't speak, who didn't sit still, who didn't look me in the eyes?
As I got older and started high school, I became more exposed to people with disabilities and quickly joined Best Buddies, an organization that works to promote the inclusion of individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD) by matching them with other students without disabilities. As I got more and more involved, I started trying to get my friends to join, but was always met with something like, "I'm just not good at that sort of thing." I didn't understand why making friends with someone with a disability was something you had to be "good at." It was at those times when I tried to put myself back in their shoes and remember how I felt before Best Buddies.
I know that it can be intimidating. No one wants to say the wrong thing and unknowingly offend the person they're talking to. They don't want to run the risk of coming off as patronizing, but on the other hand, they may not know if any given person with a disability is capable of understanding them or responding back. In fact, a 2014 study found that 67% of people report feeling uncomfortable talking to people with disabilities for these very reasons, which stem from one common theme: ignorance.
Ignorance is not something to be ashamed of, but something to acknowledge and learn from. The only way to combat ignorance is to ask questions and do your research. In fact, you can start right now!
Here are some quick tips on how to interact with a person with IDD:
Talk in a normal tone/pitch of voice (i.e. never talk "baby talk")
Always address the person directly, not their parent, caregiver, etc.
Look them in the eyes while you address them
Give plenty of time to respond, and don't try to finish their sentences for them
Offer help when you think it may be needed, and accept the answer they give you
If you don't understand something they said, ask them to repeat it. Don't pretend to understand if you do not know what they said!
If you don't know how you should interact with them or what they're comfortable with, just ask!
Another resource that I found helpful is a video series called Special Books by Special Kids. The series was created by a former special education teacher who travels the world interviewing children and adults with a wide variety of disabilities both intellectual and physical.
All in all, try to remember that we're all just people, and we all just want to be respected and included. All of us.